My Black feminist ethics suggest that healing and wholeness have to be possible for folk of all genders in our communities, both perpetrators and victims. But I am left unsettled by the quickness and ease and bravado with which these two have chosen to reconnect. Just last year Chris Brown was tossing chairs through windows. This year they are sharing birthday cake. Hmmmm…

Forgiveness may be fairly personal and private, but accountability requires community. And because domestic violence is such a huge problem in our broader Black racial communities, I understand the desire to want Chris to be accountable to all of us. But even if not to us, certainly to his adoring fans. More than anything, I want him to use his power and influence with them constructively. I want him to care about them in the ways that they clearly care about him. Prior to losing Whitney, I wouldn’t have thought that all these anonymous people were making investments of care in particular entertainers, but given my own fairly surprising sense of grief over Whitney, I’m rethinking that position. I think for many folks, Chris Brown (though not Rihanna) continues to be a person deemed worthy of care; I think he reminds them of cousins, brothers, friends, etc.

My thoughts are disjointed so I should stop. But I am profoundly unsettled. As a childhood survivor of domestic violence, what I know is that a firm black and white stance (against DV, no negotiations) was critical to the survival and health of my family. So while I recognize the complicated realities at play here (and in my own life), I’m unsure where Breezy is concerned what to do with them.