From the Vault: This piece originally appeared in Aquarius Magazine.
The ego always tells us that what we have done is not enough. It always finds a way to creep into our minds, reciting mantras of inferiority and ill willed actions. With the ego, all of the work we have done is easily forgotten. All of the things we have done to raise awareness, foster love & healing, cry for justice or balance; all these things are lost in the ever pressing urge to do more. Do MORE. DO MORE.
Yet after the frenzie has ended and all of the rallies have demonstrated, after the papers have been presented, the poem recited, the song sung, the art released and the language expressed, the ego makes us forget that we have done anything at all. It presses down upon us and says, “But what good was any of that?”
In response to this we rush out, or rush inward, ready to beat up on ourselves for all the trees we couldn’t save, all the young people we couldn’t reach, all the legislation we are unable to petition, all the strangers we couldn’t help, all the times we had to sit down, stop, rest and say “no”, because we couldn’t, didn’t, wouldn’t bring ourselves to do anymore. Whether it’s because our resources were extinguished, our spirit or body needed rest, or simply because we made a different decision we beat up on ourselves. This can and often does go on forever.
What we must remember is that every act towards healing oneself or others is an act of healing that proliferates throughout the soul of the universe. If we truly believe in the concept of inter-being, which suggests that all life, energy and beings are interconnected, then the love, healing and education we bring to one person one group or more, has a rippling affect. It moves beyond us and into the unseen. It may manifest as a flower growing through concrete. It may manifest as someone else across the world being compelled to give a hug, a kiss, a dollar, a dime, a hand, or laughter. It may manifest as a spark of an idea being awakened in someone a world away, but it matters. Everything we do matters.
Whether it’s break a smile or breakthrough a facade, these acts, no matter how tiny, actually continue to recycle throughout the galaxy and planet to create more of the same. Our acts of arrogance, ignorance, snobiness, aggression, and elitist attitudes multiply. Our acts of anger, secretiveness, and dishonesty triplicate each time without exception. Just as these less desirable energies spread, so to do our acts of loving-kindness. So do all the times we were non-judgemental and loving. All the times we reached beyond ourselves to share something with someone outside of our comfort zone to connect, this to was spread over the universe. Let me make this clear: this is in no way an attempt to suggest that we should not have our emotions or feelings, but to be clear that our emotions are different from our actions. Have the feeling of anger is wonderful. It is apart of being human.
Acting or hurting someone because of that anger is the challenge. It creates more pain for others and expands this energy across the cosmos. We all of course have done such things at one time in our lives, and have had no or little idea of the consequence on others and ourselves. We also often have to make choices that create pain-such is a part of life. We can work on forgiving ourselves for those actions and in the process heal that energy in order to redirect it. We are all having human experiences here, and no matter with what tools we are equipped with we will still make mistakes and blunders. (if so we would not learn.) Thus forgive yourself and make the wisest choice you can.
The gist of this message is this: That one, we must acknowledge our deeds and work no matter how small or insignificant for how they affect others and the community. And two: the results of our work and things we do are not always readily seen or perceived by us. This should bring us to both a place of celebration and of caution. Act mindfully. Move lovingly. When you are unable to do so, forgive yourself and redirect that energy towards compassion. And when the ego says, “But what good was that?” Know and trust that the after effects of the love and authenticity you have engendered is in action.