In traditional astrology two zodiac signs are seen to be incompatible because of difference. The idea is that because these two individuals embody such radically different psychological impulses, tendencies and life frames they are in no way able to create or sustain a romantic union.
This idea that difference is an immobilizing factor, stems largely from the fact that the culture that produced this astrological theory in of itself has not been able to reconcile issues of difference. When the west historically has been faced with difference the response has been to either to construct a hierarchy( where one arena of difference is seen as utopian and the others less than) or to erase difference all together and try to focus on similarities.
However I believe as poet Audre Lorde once stated “That it is not our differences that divide us. It is our inability, to recognize, accept and celebrate those differences.”
Therefore I do not endorse traditional concepts of Western compatibility.
You see any of us can be in relationship with each other, the question is not are we “compatible” but instead: “Are we willing to do the personal, emotional and spiritual work necessary to forge a union that is nourishing, loving and compatible for us?”
For many couples who are in an Aquarius-Scorpio relationship the answer is almost always a resounding no. Which is why Astrology states this partnership as one of the most highly “incompatible”.
In this inaugural essay of “Will it Work” we are going to get a birds eye view into the Aquarius-Scorpio dynamic and see what creates what western astrology has called “incompatibility”. We are also going to see what it would require for a loving, sustainable union to exist between these two– if it is possible at all. Mind you, we will only be working with sun signs in this essay. Even though the reality is, each of us is infinitely more complicated than our sun-signs. Different aspects and placements in the chart will create different impulses that will generally extend beyond the scope of this analysis. However, when speaking in general about the Aquarius and Scorpio dynamic this essay will provide a general overview.
(Also, for further elaboration I would recommend you checking out my Case Study on Aquarians and Scorpios.)
So let’s begin.
Aquarians think. It’s what they do. They are aware that they have emotions, they just don’t value them in the same way they value the intellect. They maintain a distance from their emotional body at all times and this infuriates Scorpio. Why? Because Scorpio lives in water, in feeling. They want adoration, to be possessed, affection; things that the Aquarian personality does not give out routinely. They are too busy talking about free love, their friends and their independence to be all holed up with the Scorpio. Aquarians reek from the idea of being owned, or from participating in anything that feels normative or mundane. Relationships, traditional unions especially, feel way to normal for the Aquarius. They live in the future. All that emotional stuff? That’s the past. Let it go.
And let it go is just what the the Scorpio will not do. They are not exactly well equipped for forgiveness. Aquarians’ cold, disconnected, theoretical sparring hurts Scorpio intensely, and Scorpio cannot use it’s emotional powers in the same way with Aquarius.You see Scorpios tend to use emotional knowledge and feelings as a weapon in relationships, but with Aquarians there’s such an emotional disconnect, that it doesn’t exactly tip the scales in Scorpio’s favor. So Scorpio is left feeling powerless– they’re emotional attacks and manipulation do not carry much weight.
Not only this, Scorpio also uses sexuality as power in relationships,and while Aquarians love kinky and creative sex ( Rick james was an aquarius) there not going to be controlled by their sexual drive. It’s not rational and “rationality” is where they live. Scorpio needs affection, love and praise. To a typical Aquarian, this is not rational. You know they love you. Why should they have to demonstrate that through what they see as “normative” methods? Aquarians can appear distant to the Scorpio. Scorpio is needy and overbearing to Aquarius. The union suffers for these and many more challenges.
How can they make it work? The invitation is to sit and think about why they are attracted to each other in the first place. You see, each of us is attracted to our romantic partners because the other possess’ something that our conscious wants us to awaken and embrace within ourselves. In this case, Aquarius, who lives all in their head, is being pulled to Scorpio because they need to learn how to work with their feelings and deal with the tumult of emotional baggage they have intellectualized but not adequately dealt with in their lifetime. Scorpio-who lives in emotion, is being called to balance that feeling with an intellectual perspective, to develop an emotional dissonance that can sway them from becoming held and ruled by their emotional body. They must also look deeper. What’s at the core of how they see the world? If they do go there, Aquarius will find that they’re love of independence is marked by a fear of being controlled, a fear they have to name and confront. Scorpio may find it wants Aquarius close because they fear abandonment and they must also, confront and deal with that wound. Both of those wounds are likely to be childhood “original wounds” stemming from some parental or primary care giving dynamic.
Many more dynamics like this will be present. The possibilities are endless. Ultimately the two must look at each other and see what qualities the “other” possess that the other is being called to integrate into their consciousness. Starting there is the first step. From there they must work actively to embrace and recognize that the things the “other” does that infuriates them, they also have in some capacity within themselves. They have to see their partner as their mirror and not their opposite; the root of the original problem.
The union is not impossible. But it is not easy. Anything worth having is not. With adequate support ( counseling, therapy, healthy friend networks, communication) the two can find a place where this union can sustain them both. They can find a place where they both can be nourished, evolve and maintain the wholeness of who they each are. Aquarius will need to let go of the need to be right. Scorpio will need to let go of the desire to possess. In any occasion it’s an invitation to grow, and to become something more than either of them were before.
In love and lite